Healing Nightmares
by Der Adler des Mondes
Summary: Kaidan has guilt and nightmares, Shepard helps push them away.


Ah, tis be a semi-prompt from alenkoed from Tumblr, more like inspired me with these two gems.

"Sometimes he looks at her body and isn't sure she's breathing so he wakes her up just in case"

Shepard: What would I do without you? Kaidan: You'll never know.

* * *

"_Go, its an order!" Shouted Shepard over the bleeding and crying Normandy._

"_No! I won't leave you!" Kaidan cried back, taking on the looming inferno with a pathetically small fire extinguisher._

"_Kaidan! We don't have time for this! Get the others to the escape pods, I'll get Joker!" She rebuked, putting her foot down. _

"_Aye, aye." Responded Kaidan, albeit reluctantly, as Shepard zoomed off to the upper decks._

"_Go go go! Into the escape pod!" _

_Kaidan lead the remaining crewmembers into the pod; looking back only to hear a sharp crack of an explosion, drowning the muffled cry of a critically injured woman. Her eyes still open._

_As much as he hated it, he had no choice; Shepard had ordered him to the escape pods. It would be no use if he died, why she was with Joker safe and sound. At least he hoped._

_Grimacing, turning, he secured himself in the pod, before launching it into the dark beyond of space._

_He vaguely saw at the corner of his eye, a blue beam snapping the Normandy in half. The explosion, he almost swore, he felt._

_Mere moments later, the sinking Normandy sailed into the planet below, in utter silence._

_Kaidan immediately tried the Pod's comlink, to find who survived and in what pod Shepard was in. He refused to believe she was dead, refused to believe anything less._

_He held the receiver, so tightly his knuckles were white, his face full of fear for his Shepard._

_One-by-one, each pod reported. Casualties list already building. _

_Then, he reached Joker's._

"_I'm sorry man, she's gone." Joker's sobbing voice, wrecked with guilt echoed into Kaidan's ear._

_Kaidan's face went ashen. The world blurred. No, the Hero of the Citadel could not die like this, not away from him. He didn't even get to say how much he loved her._

_No, he could't believe it, no –_

Kaidan suddenly awoke, his sweat covering his every being. The nightmare still fresh in his mind, his breath still hitched in his chest.

He noticed he was on the _Normandy._ _The Normandy._ That means -

He turned his head to the lump of heat that was curled next to him.

His mind still reverberating from his nightmare, wanted to check to make sure she was real, that she was breathing, that she was still within him and not dead and away from him.

Tucking his hand around her, he put two fingers on her neck and checked for a pulse.

_Ba-bump-ba-bump. Ba-bump-ba-bump._

_Yes, she is real_.

Curling into Shepard further, grasping her, absorbing her presence and smell, and convincing himself: body and mind; that she, was no still is, still here.

This had the side effect of rousing Shepard from her dreaming slumber.

"Kaidan? You okay?" She yawned, smiling playfully.

"Yeah, uh… just had to… make sure you were real." He whispered, grabbing hold of her in a protective hug, cocooning her in Alenko, determined not to let go.

"Kaidan, I'm real, I'm here." She murmured, scooting up and planting a kiss onto his cheek. She lay there, on Kaidan's chest. "I won't leave you. Never again."

"You know. I never told you how much I loved you." He minced his words, wary of his nightmare.

Sensing his misery, with one fell swoop, Shepard turned and kissed a surprised Kaidan.

Releasing her grasp, she paused to say, "I love you too."

"I missed you so much when I woke. Not having you by my side was jarring." Admitting her Achilles's heel.

"Horizon was…" She left the comment unsaid.

He grimaced. "I'm sorry, I attacked you back then. I had no idea if it was really you or an imposter. Working for Cerberus was not something I expected anyone one of us Garrus, Tali or especially you." He softly spoke, referencing Akuze.

"It's fine Kaidan. At least we are back again…the rag tag ol' crew vanquishing the big bad squid machines!" She gleefully remarked.

"If you…If you say so." He sighed; he knew it probably wasn't true. Garrus confided to him, that what he said upset her greatly.

"Look Kaidan, I got over it." Taking his hands, she began to kiss up and down his arms and pecking at his face. "What's done is done. What matters, is now."

He smiled. _That's my Shepard, so forgiving._ He cringed as a migraine cropped into his awareness.

Shepard noticed, having learned Kaidan's cues and tells. _He couldn't beat me at poker even if he tried, he wears his heart on his sleeve around me._

Shepard got up from the bed, and went to the bathroom; retreating to the bed after a minute's time.

"Here. I still remember what Chakwas gives you." She smiled, sitting down next to him, handing him a cup of water, rubbing his back.

"Thanks." He said, as he gulped down the medicine, feeling the affects begin to set in.

"Always welcome, Kaidan." She replied, laying back down.

"What would I do without you?" She wondered aloud.

"You'll never know." He answered.

Kaidan took the hint, but instead of going to her, he laid down and grabbing her in a bear hug, taking her under the covers.

A small laugh erupted from her mouth. _That's what I live for._

He began planting kisses, on her neck, her cheek, and her belly. As piece by piece, clothing was removed, shirt, pants…bra and underwear. Shepard returned fire, for every piece he removed, she removed as well.

Groaning, with excited passion, they laid naked, full of anticipation.

"You okay?" He asked, his eyes full of patience.

"Yeah, don't worry. Let's see if you improved since Ilos." She smirked, challenging his manhood.

"Oh, I don't know I haven't had practice, with you dead and all." He chided.

Pouncing on her, ravaging her with deep kisses, nibbling on her breasts, arms, neck, anywhere he could reach.

"Oh _God Kaidan!"_ She cried.

He took his cue, and lining his manhood against her, entering her, being blessed with this opportunity.

_Tight_.

He brought Shepard closer, enhancing the bond between the two, revelling on the closeness, her smell.

Starting slow, in and out, letting her set the pace.

Picking up speed, calling each other's name in pleasure.

He finally came, with her shortly after.

Exhausted, they both layed there. In each other's company.

She silently accepted his offer of safety, curling into his protective chest.

Kaidan was only too glad to protect her. _I failed once, I won't fail again._


End file.
